Bleeding Out (Jeroy)
by PeddiePlease
Summary: Trigger warning! Self-harm is main event. Joy starts to feel like she has no one left to turn to after she screws everything up for herself and her friends.


**TRIGGER WARNING**

**STRONGLY MENTIONS SELF HARM**

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Joy had no idea what she was doing. She wasn't sure of much, only that she had done the opposite of what her mission was. She had fallen in love with Jerome.

Mara had told her for days that she was to lure Jerome in and then crush his heart like he did to Mara. But Joy had done so much more than pretend to fall in love.

When she had gone out on the first few dates with him, she was, of course, just acting. But somewhere in between the 3rd and 4th date, the fake Joy was gone. She had become comfortable with him. She felt like she could tell him anything. Whether it was about her family, or her grades, or just herself. When Jerome talked, Joy listened. When Joy talked, Jerome listened. They had familiar backgrounds with both of their families having some issues, and they were both on the same scholarship at their school. They understood each other. They went together better than anyone whom they had ever been with before.

It was different. Their relationship was different. On different levels. They both acted a little bit different when they were around each other, but in a good way. A very good way.

Now, Mara was pestering Joy. She was telling her to crush him like a bug now that she had gotten him around her finger.

"Mara," Joy whined, "I don't think that'd be the appropriate thing to do right now,"

"What?" Mara droned in her British accent, "Of course it would be! It has to be unexpected, like when he cheated on me!"

"I know, I know, Mara," Joy made hand motions to calm down, feeling a bit defeated. "But I'm just not ready to dump him yet, at least another few days."

"Joy. You need to do it. Now." Joy glanced over at Mara who was giving her the death stare. Mara motioned over to Jerome who was sitting across the room, doing homework.

Joy sighed and walked across the living room towards him.

"Hey!" She plopped down next to him.

"Look who it is. Mercer." He smirked.

"In the flesh." She shrugged.

_How am I going to do this?_

Joy looked over to Mara for advice. Not that she would know. Mara just made a nudging motion towards Jerome, who wasn't looking.

"So, um, I've been thinking," Joy sucked in a breath.

"Oh, no." Jerome chuckled. Joy gave a tight smile. He was going to make this hard, she realized.

_What am I doing? How could I do this to him? He's such a poor guy. His dad in prison, his friends won't even talk to him anymore._ She thought.

"I can't do this," Joy blurted.

"Uh-us?" He stuttered. "You know, if this is about Mara, I totally understand. I know she's your friend and all, but I'm sure she wouldn't mi-"

"No. I-I'm sorry, I just can't." Joy got up quickly, averting her eyes from his, and ran to her room, sobbing.

No one even came to check on Joy. She was just as much of a poor soul as Jerome was. Not even Mara came to comfort her.

_I guess Mara is mad at me for ruining her plans,too. God, I just can't do anything right_, Joy cursed herself.

Joy had no one left.

She had just dumped Jerome, Fabian hates her for trying to make a move on him, Patricia and everyone else were too busy with Sibuna, Mara was probably furious after all that planning; it had all gone to waste because of Joy.

_Joy's fault, Joy's mistake, Joy's screwup._

That's all she could hear, the loud voice pounding against her temples telling her what she already knew; what an awful person she was.

It had become enough.

Once Joy had cried herself out, she stood and walked over to the bathroom. She slowly slid open the drawer that held her shaving razor. She slid her sleeve up to her elbow and picked up the razor.

_One mark, for every mess up._ She thought, bringing the blade to her arm.

_One mark, two marks, three marks, four,_ Joy calmly sang in her head, forgetting about the world. What mattered anymore?

She began to feel dizzy, needing to sit down. Joy leaned backwards and fell into the bathtub, dropping the razor to the ground. As she fell, she noticed her arm was bleeding profusely. It wouldn't stop.

There was a towel just in arm distance that she started to reach for, to stop the bleeding. Just when she was about to grab the white towel, another hand grabbed it. Joy spun her head around, instantly regretting it as she felt even more woozy, to find a particularly tall blonde haired boy.

"You came." She simply said.

"Of course I came for you, Joy-less." Jerome cracked a pained smile and pressed the towel to her bleeding arm.

"I'm sorry I said tha-"

"Shh. Don't speak, just relax. Don't stress yourself out," He ordered, speaking in a quiet voice, as to not hurt her head.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Tired,"

"I suspected..can I carry you to a more comfy place than the bathtub?"

"If it wouldn't be a bother, Jerome, that would be lovely." She smiled, her eyes starting to flutter. She was losing consciousness.

Jerome, ever so carefully, picked Joy up by her legs and neck, letting her head rest on his shoulders as he carried her to her bed. He placed a kiss on her head, then went to find the first aid kit.

Jerome wasn't so sure of what he was doing, but he had a fairly good idea.

He knew Joy wouldn't want anyone to know about this, so he took care of it himself instead of asking Trudy for help. She would end up calling a hospital and things would quickly get out of hand. So this was his other option.

Back in Joy's room, he took damp cotton balls and ran them along her arm. She was unconscious, but still had a very alive, very fast pulse.

He cleaned up most of the dried up blood, then took some gauze and wrapped her arm in it. Jerome moved so carefully, not wanting to hurt her small, fragile body.

Once he had gotten her arm taken care of, he went to get her a cup of tea for when she would wake up.

When he got back, she was already awake and looking at the bandage around her arm, curiously.

"I, uhm, fixed it up a little," He said while stopping at the door, a cup of tea in his hand. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Thank you," Joy whispered.

Jerome started walking towards her, without saying "You're welcome" or anything of the nature, because, in fact, he felt as if he weren't worthy enough for her.

"I brought you some of your favorite tea: jasmine." He tried to smile for her, sitting beside her on the bed and handing the cup over. She sat up and took the cup from his hands.

"My favorite tea is chai," She sipped the tea and smirked at him.

Jerome's face turned about thirty different shades of red.

"Kidding, kidding." Joy laughed.

"Mercer, you can be dying and still think you're funny." He tried to regain his posture.

"At least I am actually funny, unlike this blonde weirdo over here," She poked his stomach and they both laughed, followed by an awkward silence.

Jerome finally spoke up, "You know, I really thought I was going to lose you for a few moments there, Mercer."

"I thought I was already lost, Clarke."

"You aren't. You weren't. And you never will be, Joy. Mara told me what she had planned. To be honest, I would have probably done the same exact thing."

Joy's eyes filled with tears. "I don't have anybody left." Her voice shook as she spoke.

"Neither do I. But if you want, we can have each other," Jerome leaned in and their lips met in the middle. They kissed like they were the last two people on earth. And to them, they were.

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**Review, favorite, follow! I love reviews the best tbh :) I thought the ending was decent. It started out a lot faster than I intended and it became a lot longer than I intended, but that's okay..**

**Should I write more Jeroy stuff?**


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